A few years ago this was my favorite place to share my thoughts, my fears, and all of the things that made me smile in a week. Slowly, as time progressed though, it became harder to make myself sit down and share those pieces of myself post after post. When I go back and read them now, I feel like I’m reading passages written by a stranger.

I can’t quite pinpoint exactly when it became too hard to continue, but I know, without a doubt, the events that contributed to my block. For as long as I can remember writing has been therapeutic. It isn’t quite the therapy that jumping in the car and hitting the open road with the tunes blasting has always been for me, but it’s definitely a close second. In the last few years so many personal triumphs and stumbles have occurred, and it was those stumbles that made my love of writing fade.

Suddenly every time I sat in front of a blank document I found myself wanting to scream my frustrations onto the clean white spaces. Deep down though, I knew that it wouldn’t help. If I couldn’t voice my frustrations to the people causing them, writing them down and sharing them with the interwebs wouldn’t solve anything. I read once that you should let your past make you better, not bitter – and for the past year I have been doing my best to live by those words.

In the past few months I have found myself itching to get back into writing, and more specifically, bringing this blog back into my life. I want to be reminded again by things that make me happy, or things that have impacted me. I can’t remember all the stories of my early twenties, but when I scroll through old ‘Things I Love Thursday’ posts I am reminded of hundreds of fabulous moments.

I have since unpublished all of my original posts, mostly because I wanted to start fresh, but that’s not to say I won’t bring them back once in awhile for a little throwback. There are a lot of pieces of which I am very proud, and I would love the opportunity to showcase them again one day. For now though, they are my invisible inspiration. A reminder that I need to take the time to indulge in these pieces of written medicine that make me feel whole again.

Just so you are aware of who I am now, I should warn you, I’ve seen a lot of change in my life in the last year.

 I recently left the job I had held for seven years to take on an opportunity I hope will advance my career. It was one of the toughest decisions I have had to make thus far. Having started there the month before I turned twenty-one, I wasn’t just saying goodbye to a job, I was saying goodbye to the place where I grew up.

Even more recently I decided to take up training for a 5k race – which was quite a challenge when you realize I may hate running more than any other person in the world. Every time I lace up my neon pink tennis shoes I attempt to give myself a pep talk, and then find myself blown away when I manage to make it through those runs without dying, Seriously. It’s a freaking miracle.

Perhaps the biggest impact of the last year however, is also the one that holds the biggest emotional punch. That defining obstacle that I struggle to put behind me every single day. The one thing I will do my best to not dwell on here, but would be ridiculous to pretend like it hasn’t changed me. I took a risk, silenced super brain, and I let my heart make the decisions. I fell hard. Perhaps harder than I would even care to admit, and I ended up crushed. I revealed more pieces of myself than I had ever done before, and unfortunately, in the end, I just wasn’t what he wanted. To this day, the loss of the friendship we shared saddens me. Almost as much as the realization, that in all likelihood, he meant more to me than I did to him. It’s a tale as old as time though, and in no way original or remarkable

It’s part of the story though, and I hope that with each passing day I find new adventures and new stories to post on this blog. There is nothing I love more than sitting down in front of my computer, tunes blasting from my phone, trying to create a written masterpiece of all my quirky thoughts. I can’t promise a clear vision of what to expect here, except that you will most likely get me, in all my crazy uniqueness.

Damn.

I really had forgotten how much I love this…

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